We cannot fix a system if we do not know how it work, and what causes it to broke down. To prevent a marriage from ending in the divorce court, we must know what broke up marriages and try to fix it before it happen. A mariner do not knowingly put a boat with half broken propeller in the sea.

Amos 3:3-AV Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

The greatest mistakes of lovers, is thinking that they can change the other person. We quickly forget that people resist change. When does a wolf ever became sheep? In this article, we intended to show readers how to fix certain marital pot hole, before getting married.

MONEY TROUBLE:

One of the first problem that a newly married couple is going to face is money. When the love making is over, the couple will find out that their are other things that is just as important. Some women came into the marriage thinking that she will never need to work again, or she can leave her job because she is now a wife. Some men think, my wife is a Nurse and she is making big money, I do not need to ever work again, "I am set for life, to blase with work" The couple will need to talk about the family financial positions and each person expectation and responsibility, before moving in with each other.

THE INTERFERENCE OF FAMILY AND FRIEND:

Sirach.42:13 For as moths come from garments, so harm to women comes from women. "The New American Bible. Saint Joseph Edition"

The interferences of family and friends is another marriage killer. I have found out that sometime family want to try out the other family spouses. They call this "Take a taste" Whenever, they are ignored, they try to destroy that marriage with malice, they never let up, and never stop seeking for opportunity to bring that marriage to ruin. The newly couple can prevent this from happening, if they talk about what role family and friends is going to play in this new relationship. How we will deal with "Hear say" If you refused to discussed with each other the hear say of the day, and give each other a chance to give their side of what happen. Your marriage will not lost two years. Even it it lost that long, it will always be in quick sand.

FALLING PREY TO A MIND POISONER:

Sirach.42:13 For as moths come from garments, so harm to women comes from women. "The New American Bible. Saint Joseph Edition"

There are people in this world that can tell you things about your father, and cause you to hate him. A mind poisoner have a way of skillfully transmitted his or her feelings of hate in such a way, that you also hated the person that they are telling you about without even knowing what the person looks like. For unknown reasons, women seem to fall prey to a mind poisoner more easily than men.

To protect yourself from a poisoner, you have to ask yourself a series of questioning. Why is he /she telling me all this? What does this have to do with me? What are the other side of the story? What is he/she trying to accomplishes here? Does the victims have a right to an hearing? Just suppose this is a mistake?

The most dangerous mind poisoners are call "Mischief makers" They did things for jokes, he did not hate his or her victims, nor even meant any harm. I over heard one worker say" Things is too quiet around here, I need to start some rumors, we need some excitement"

Romans 3:13-AV Their throat [is] an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps [is] under their lips:

James 3:5-AV Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! James 3:6-AV And the tongue [is] a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

James 3:7-AV For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: James 3:8-AV But the tongue can no man tame; [it is] an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

SOME OF THE MOST CUNNING MIND POISONERS ARE IN THE CHURCHS:

Ecclesiastes 3:16-AV And moreover I saw under the sun the place of judgment, [that] wickedness [was] there; and the place of righteousness, [that] iniquity [was] there. Ecclesiastes 3:17-AV I said in mine heart, God shall judge the righteous and the wicked: for [there is] a time there for every purpose and for every work.

If you drink down every thing you hear from church people, you will be soon ruing. Proverbs 17:17-AV A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 18:24-AV A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.

Women attitude changes accordingly to what they hear, the men saw the attitude, and assumed that the woman have a man on the side.

The attack of family and friend upon a marriage will comes in three phases. The first phase is when they came in siding with one member, but at the same time they really came in to bring about a split, and not to unite the couple. A man and his wife are one and whenever, a problem arises among them, they should be treated as one. This is the most dangerous phase, because they came in as friend. The second phase is when they came in as friend of both partners. However, the encouragement that they give is intended to split them up. The third and final phase is when they came in as enemy, they declare open war upon both. This happen when the other two phase failed.

BAD HABITS:

Gambling addicted, substance abuses, bad company. Some people cannot cantroll themselve any more, and is searching for a wife or an husband to dump themselve off on. These habits ruin a marriage. Having a spouse with an addicted gambling habit can be detrimental to the family financial status. Some time the spouse is the one that broke into their own apartments. All the family furniture end up in the pawn shop. And the money is use to pay gambling debt.

TABOO:

Look a phobia: Many marriages have broken every year over "what you looking at!" A lot of black men get into fights, and wounded the other person, because they claimed that the person was looking a them, are looking at their spouses. By the time he came back from twenty years imprisonment, his wife already have two babies for other men. Did it worth it? "To look is disrespect! How in God heaven are we going to stop people from looking at us? The prison is full of black men here in USA. We blame it all on the white people, but sometime, it is our own taboos that open the door for us to get ourselves in trouble. The couple must settle this look a phobia problem before getting marriage. If look is going to be a problem, I cannot get married to you, because I have to look. And sometime I am not even looking, but Satan is going to make it looks like I am looking. A woman walked into the church, having a good looking shape, big breasted and well dress, all the married women, begin to look out of their sideway vision to see if their husbands are looking, so what if the husbands look? Service disrupted, home life disrupted. Looking at a woman does not mean that the man want her. Sometime she is looking funny to him.

POWER STRUGGLE:

When starting a relationship, before the couple move in with each others, they must decide who is in charge of the relationship. Who has the emergency power. A man do not necessarily have to be in charge, especially if the woman is educated and is earning more money. Nevertheless, he must be respected as a man. The Bible command the woman to guide the house.

1Timothy 5:14-AV I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

Ephesians 5:23-AV For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

While commanding the man to be the head of the wife. If a decision cannot be reach, quickly, the man have the rights to say" Ok this is how it must go" If this system is not set up, the family will get tied up in power struggle, tug of war for a long time. If a woman has any objection to a man being her head, the man that she is with is not the right man for her. Any time she meet the man that is right for her she will surrender that attitude.

UNSATISFIED SEX LIFE:

This is the easiest problem to solve in the marriage since it can be solve with medication, and good eating habit.

CONFLICTING SEXUAL PREFERENCES:

You will need to know people sexual preferences before moving in with them. Men is not what they we use to be. Many marriages have been broken up due to sexual preferences. The man was to sodomize the wife and the wife do not want that. Some wives want the man to do oral sex on her, and the man do not want that. All this problem can be solve before moving in with somebody. The problem is, every body think that can change the other person over, little by little. And that never work. The person must declared their sexual preferences in the premarital agreements.

BAD BACK GROUND:

When we went to apply for a job, we have to fill out a job application, and take drug test, some jobs want medical records and background check. A job want this. But people are ready to move in with people without doing a background check up on them. Some men a child sex offender. Women just move them into their houses, to live with them on the children. Then complained that men are bad, while refusing to admit that she has made wrong choice, by bringing a man into her house with doing a background check on him. Some cannot get a job, because they have police record long from here to Germany.

NO SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE:

Ephesians 5:22-AV Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:23-AV For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Ephesians 5:24-AV Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 5:25-AV Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Ephesians 5:28-AV So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Ephesians 5:29-AV For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: Ephesians 5:33-AV Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband.

1Timothy 5:14-AV I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 1Timothy 5:15-AV For some are already turned aside after Satan.